Voodoo Girl

Her skin is white cloth,

And she's all sewn apart

And she has many colored pins

Sticking out of her heart.She has a beautiful set

Of hypno-disk eyes,

The ones that she uses

To hypnotize guys.

She has many different zombies

Who are deeply in her trance.

She even has a zombie

Who was originally from France.

But she knows she has curse on her

A curse she cannot win.

For if someone gets

Too close to her,

The pins stick farther in.

tim burton

wow

Nowadays everything is changing so fast that it's kinda scary, kinda exciting, kinda nervous, kinda too good to be true. Don't know from which side I should look at it and focus but I hope all will be just well.

I'm at a point that I could never think I'd be at. It's just so so so hard to believe all the things are happening all at once. I hope this won't be like, lending a jar of candies to a kid and then pulling it back when he is about to get one. I hope not. I don't think I'll be able to recover easily. Of course I'll do my best and so on but, this time, wow. 

I want to write so much but I'm at a loss for words.

b.

Observation

Today I figured out one more time that I enjoy upsetting myself. That too on purpose.

What if?

"What if I wanted to break?"

This is how the song starts and it makes me think.. Yeah, what if? I think I've wanted this for a loooong while and I did manage to do it at some point. But the question is that "is it worth it?"

- I doubt. -

I think you have to let go things in order to move on, to be able to go back and start over, to be yourself again - the one that was not hurt, not torn apart, not f**** up in the head with stupid regrets & memories & all... yeah, one has to let go whatever it is or whoever that person is.

Life is too precious to ruin it with sad memories, sayings like "what if..." , "if only...", "I wish...", "if it were to happen...", etc... But we are too weak to realize this and we just dwell on s*** like this for so long.. so long that it drains you & these stuff become the only thing you can think about. You feel trapped & hopeless & alone. Well, it was YOU who pushed yourself into that dark, pityfull well and you've got to climb up on YOUR own again.

-No one is gonna help. No one can.-

Anyways, enough of my thoughts for today. Maybe.

It's getting freaking cold in Istanbul or it's just me who feels extra cold today, dunno. And when I say extra cold, I mean EXTRA COLD! I will have some magic soup of my mom's. It helps me to feel better ( mentally & psychically ).

Brrrrr...ing B.

I wanna go to Hawaii

Sometimes it gets me down. I won't say what that thing , or more likely the "reality" is , though. It just gets me down very badly. I don't get myself to think about it much, I think I run away from it, I don't REALLY want to face it. I choose the easy way, I act cheap and I just shut my thoughts and focus on something toootally unrelated.

As days pass, it gets harder&harder to see which path is right for me... what I need to do in this situation... what I need to do to be happy ever after on this issue... Maybe I should choose the darker path, the one that seems darker than the other. But which one is? Everything seems blurred in this situation, every path I decide to choose is not right. So should I continue with it or without? Should I listen to my heart and say screw the rest or should I be logical and turn my emotions off? So hard to decide, so hard to make a move.

They say everything has a reason, well, I bet that's a fact but then I get to thinking, what's the reason for this? Why is it so God damn hard to see the reason behind this? Why me?

Sometimes it gets me down. Sometimes it gets me down badly.

B.