Random

So, ummm.. today my work officially finished at the company I was interning at. I will enjoy the rest of my time in the States till I go back to my country. I'm looking forward to go and meet my new nephew, it's gonna be real cool. I'm going to buy my ticket from Chicago so I can go there and see places before I leave...

I need to finish my admission stuff for this community college asap! I'm feeling lazy and kind of like...careless? Don't know what's happening to me.

I feel like I'm changing, becoming less emotional, less caring, more cool with things. I kind of like it because I'm not beating myself up as much anymore.

Time is passing so, SO, fast that it is rather stupid to waste time worrying, being upset or blaming yourself for things and dwelling on each and every mistake you've made. I'm not saying one should forget all his/her mistakes and give a pat on the back to themselves , but, beating yourself up so much is not necessary, not helpful, not achieving anything good at all....

Anyways, I want to buy this digital camera, I will see if I can come up with the money. If I can, it will be sooooooooooooooooooooooooo awesome!!

Oh by the way I watched the new movie of Tim Burton, 9, and it was pretty awesome. Still cannot beat my love for Corpse Bride , tho ;)

I think I will play some Guild Wars, killing some monsters may help me feel better :P

B.

Pissed off

So I'm having one of those nights when I feel all gloomy, hopeless, fed up with most of everything in my life and all... I know everything will be just fine and I have the power to overcome all these puzzles / troubles in my life but it's just... it's just hard sometimes. Seeing so many hopes and dreams shattering infront of me is not a piece of cake to handle, I'm not saying I'm weak to carry this burden but it's just... hard sometimes.

I sometimes wish I'd done a lot of things that I did not, I wish I'd done this , had not done that, I wish I'd said this or that... I wish I knew where to keep my mouth shut, where to "ignore" some things that bothered me so much. Maybe it'd be very different now, maybe I'd be at a totally different place now. But then I think, all these things I've experienced made me realize...

this is what I am...

this is what I wanted...

this is where I want to be...

this is how it's supposed to be...

this is my life and whoever tries to f*** it up should just f*** off and leave me alone.

sometimes loneliness is the cure of the soul and the heart.

b.

First

Well, I think it was time for me to start a new blog after losing my 200+ blogs on Yahoo 360! That was kind of a drag but even though they sent me like 5 warnings before they shut down the blog, I really did not feel like saving any of my stuff that I've published there. I spent a good amount of time and effort in those blogs and had awesome discussions over them with hundreds of people but, oh well... I'm such a person that can be abnormally sensitive and caring over a thing and can have zero interest in it the other day. I don't know if it's good or not but this is what I am. It's not applicable in human relationships in my life, so I think this is a plus.

Annnnyywaaaaysss...

So, I guess I need to mention about myself a little since this is my first blog entry on this new virtual land I start ( not something I have done in any of my blogs but I want this one to be more personal ). I'm a Computer Engineer who is not engineering computers nor chips nor any other kind of hardwares even though the title I had from the university claims that I should be. After I graduated from university I wanted to explore the U.S so I applied for an internship position and got approved. Therefore my adventure started with this internship. I landed on California and then after some business English education at Berkeley, I moved to Kansas City, Missouri to start my internship job. I started off working on some Microsoft based handheld project and then switched to a web based one. Anyways, I won't make it geeky and boring for some of you so I skip the details about my job ;)

Annnyyywaaaaysss...

I had a 9 days trip back to my country because of a ceremony my family was having (which is a big deal because we have goooooood bounds within our family (gotta love that) )and had a great time there with all the people I love deeply and who love me truely under any condition. After that trip, I came back to the U.S to finish my internship so here I am :) In the meantime my interest in graphics and animation have grown and grown. Now I'm planning on getting into this field and becoming a real good one in it. Let's see what tomorrow brings and what kind of new adventures I have in near future. I'm eager to see all.


B.