i sat on the couch for hours and kept crying till i felt like my tears were just not coming out anymore. i was sure that it wasn't because i ran out of tears or my pain was gone or i was done with all the trauma i was going through. it was either because i was too tired to produce more tears or i got numb from crying so my tears just said "screw it" and stopped all together.
i got up to go out and get some food, the first thing that i saw was your slippers sitting next to the door, i felt that tears were trying to come out again, so I walked to the room to get dressed.
when i entered the room i was saying to myself, "i'm done with crying... at least for the following couple hours!" till i saw your tshirt that was laying on the floor which looked like you just took it off and went to the bathroom to take a shower or went out to get something from the store and you were in a rush, or maybe not, because you are not the most tidy person in this planet and we both know that. i said to myself again "don't let this get you down, walk to your closet and get dressed!".
i kept walking and passed by the bed. that's when I saw the earrings you got for me from one of your trips abroad.
first earrings you've got for me.
i tried not to look at them and reminded myself what i promised to myself just a few seconds ago.
i made my mind, i was going to go out and get some food. that's all. just a regular routine. i pulled out a tshirt and a pair of jeans randomly from the pile of clothes i had in my closet. i put them on while trying to think of something, anything, but you.
and finally i was ready to go when i put my hoody on in the end.
it was just after a few seconds that i changed my mind and went back to the couch.
it was when i found a few pieces of almost dead grass that you put in the pocket of my hoody at the park, a day ago.
so yeah, i'm back on the couch.
